Pills

Sometimes, getting the help you need is difficult. I’m finding that it’s more of a combination of factors that needs to be just right in order to get everything on the table and get good help.

I saw a new doctor today. I didn’t have a problem with the previous doctor – he was very good and understanding – but I felt like I would be more comfortable with a female doctor talking about the issues that I’m having, so I requested an appointment with her instead. I made the right choice.

I walked in and told her that I was feeling nervous about the idea of going off of my anxiety / depression medication, and she explained that because I’ve had my symptoms for a long time (years as opposed to days, weeks, or even months) there was a good chance I’ll be working my entire life to find a combination of medication that works for me. She mentioned that the dosage I’m on for my Cipralex is the highest dose available, but that we had other options. What’s going on right now is that I’m going to start taking an antipsychotic at night to help amplify the effects of the Cipralex, as well as helping me sleep. I can’t wait until I finally have multiple nights with good sleep in a row, as opposed to this broken, messy attempt at sleep that I’ve been dealing with for ages now.

On top of that, I mentioned the fact that I’m in pain all the time and that I’ve been getting dizzy regularly – when walking past people in the hallway, or even sometimes just sitting at a table or reading, and she gave me a prescription for pain relief and anti-inflammatory, and told me to take that daily, and to make sure that I’ve always got food in my stomach, no matter what. Looks like I’ll be investing in some small portable snacks! I guess the dizziness is likely related to the blood loss and the pain, which makes perfect sense. On top of that, she’s recommended that I try to get more iron in my diet or with a supplement, and she’s going to reassess everything in a month.

I feel this huge burden falling off of my shoulders. I’m always afraid that I’ll be taken the wrong way – like I’m looking for medicine or attention – so I try to limit the amount of complaining I do (though I feel like my friends would beg to differ). It’s nice to be heard, and even nicer to know that I’ve got help to work through everything one step at a time.

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