One thing I can’t say I was prepared for when it comes to motherhood is the fact that my migraines are back in full force. It’s infinitely harder to have a migraine and try to keep a small human content at the same time!
That said, I’m still loving motherhood so much. Lucas is so sweet and snuggly – just as I expected he would be. I don’t know how I could tell before he was born, but I just had a feeling that he would rely on being close to people, and he does. Even when I put him on the couch next to me while we’re up at night, he inches his way toward me until he’s snuggled right up against me. His instinct is to be as close as possible to me at all times, and I am trying to savour it as much as I can since I know that before long he will be “too old” for this kind of closeness.
He’s one month old today. How is it possible that a month has already gone by? And how have I managed to keep him alive and happy? We’ve had no major issues, and I’ve fallen into a pretty consistent routine with him. That said, I keep feeling like his real parents are going to come take him and thank me for watching him. I wonder how long it will be before my brain can reconcile the fact that he really is my son and I’m a mother now. I feel the motherly instincts – I’ve fallen right into taking care of him and am madly in love – but I have a hard time believing that he sees me the same way that I saw my mother as a kid.
Parenthood is so weird.