One of my sisters had her baby today. I guess I haven’t talked about it here, but my sisters were both pregnant – I guess now only one of them is. He’s a healthy baby boy and my dad flew out to California to be there for the birth.
I talked to my mom today and congratulated her on being a grandma – it’s odd that I am not having the first or second grandchild in the family since I’m the oldest. My family dynamic is odd anyway. My dad thought I was pregnant when I was in my early 20s (I had a kidney infection and was very sick for a couple of weeks) and told me that I was wasting my life. My sister gets pregnant in her early 20s and he flies halfway across the country to cut the umbilical cord.
This is why I’m starting therapy next week.
We had quite the scare last night.
I got home at my usual time, and gave Lilo some dinner after giving her some belly rubs and a hug. I went into the living room to hang out on the computer and was listening to an audiobook in my headphones, and suddenly I heard a sound that sounded like Lilo was getting sick. I went to check on her, thinking maybe she ate too quickly or had swallowed some hair or something, when I noticed she was wheezing and breathing through her mouth, and couldn’t seem to catch her breath. I checked her throat (much to her displeasure) and saw there was nothing there, and she wasn’t swollen or anything. We kept an eye on her for about a half hour (once we confirmed that she was breathing) because we thought maybe some food had gone down the wrong way, and she’d eventually cough it out or be sick.
After we realized it wasn’t going anywhere, we decided to take her up to the emergency vet to make sure she wasn’t in any serious danger. They did some tests, gave her a physical exam and two x-rays, and saw pretty much nothing wrong. Her lungs were a bit cloudy (we always suspected she was a tiny bit asthmatic so this was not a surprise at all) and that she had swallowed a lot of air in her attempts to fix whatever was wrong. Once they were done, they gave her some steroids and let us watch her for a bit to see if she was acting normally.
We took her home and I stayed with her all day today. She seems to be okay, but I was so nervous. I’m glad she ended up fine and am so grateful that we get to spend more time with our grumpy old lady.
I cannot wait for our Disney trip. I’m very burnt out from one of our busiest times at work and rearranging my meds and basically just trying to be a human. I need a real vacation! It will be my first vacation in years and we certainly have earned it. We have all the preparations in place – just waiting for our plane tickets to arrive and we are set! (Aside from packing, of course.)
Another thing that will be helpful for me in the near future is that I will be seeing a psychologist starting next week. The one I’ve chosen specializes in childhood trauma and anxiety/depression and her “recommended reading” list is perfect. It’s silly to pick a psychologist based on books they recommend but when 90% of those books call to you specifically, it has to be a sign.
I’m at a point where I think the medications (citalopram and Wellbutrin) are levelling me out chemically and I feel okay enough to start approaching the healing process from the other side. The medication I’m on to prevent migraines (propranolol) has some anxiety-related side effects, but they so far seem to be worse when my dose is adjusted and tolerable otherwise.
At this point, I just want to be healthy.
Today’s plans were to go out to a friend’s house to play D&D, but I’m a bit of a wimp when it comes to storms. It’s not that it’s bad so far – the snow just started about a half hour ago. It’s that it will continue to accumulate and by the time we’re done, there’s no telling how bad it will be.
Instead, today Mark and I will be making slow cooker chicken parmesan (one of his specialties!) and staying warm in our apartment. I had suggested perhaps putting together a puzzle, but we’re still not sure. For now, I’m playing some Minecraft and Mark is reading. Quiet days are the best!
I had a doctor appointment yesterday. Most of the things we’re doing are right on track, but we’ve made a couple of changes. My Propranolol (migraine prevention) has increased, since I was still getting more migraines than the doctor would prefer. Also, she’s written me a prescription for psychology so that it will be covered by my healthcare plan from work. I think I need to finally talk out all the things that are bottled up inside me – with a professional.
2016 is going to be my year – I can tell!
Last night was a terrible storm, which meant that I ended up working from home to avoid traffic issues and getting stuck in massive snow drifts. It worked out particularly well for me because of three things:
1. Since I get so tired when travelling, even the 90 minute trip to work wears me out, and I dread it every evening on the way back. Being able to work at my desk at home without exerting the energy to get to work meant that I could spend more effort and energy on the work itself and not be exhausted or in pain.
2. I work better when there is relative quiet, or at least noise that I have control over. I have something called hyperacusis which means that I am exceptionally sensitive to sounds. Even someone laughing in the next room can set it off, and being in loud spaces tends to give me major anxiety. The worst is what I like to call “competing sounds” – people talking over each other, music on top of other (different) music, or multiple various sounds all at once. I have a hard time filtering them and struggle to pick out the one I want to hear. Being able to turn off anything around me that’s making noise is super helpful and relaxes me.
3. It seems I have some sort of stomach bug, and spent my day trying to eat small meals and drink lots of water – between frequent trips to the restroom. I’m hoping this will pass for tomorrow, as most of the snow has, but only time will tell.
Luckily, quarter end is almost over! This makes me so happy and I am glad to not have to worry about it for much longer. The job itself doesn’t get to me as much as my own expectations going into a hectic time – I know things are much harder but I demand the same standard of work from myself that I would give if it was a slower time of the year. So far, so good!
For now, I think I will read for a bit (finishing up I Heart Christmas, even though I haven’t read any of the other books in the series, and Christmas has definitely passed!) and then get some well-earned sleep. Goodnight, world!
Today was fairly productive, despite a horrible fight with insomnia last night. I finally went to sleep around 7am and slept until around 11:30, then started my day off with some gaming and reading. I’ve been saving a lot of articles lately about various topics – mostly personal finance, bullet journaling, professional advice, and Disney trip planning – so I started to clean some of those out. The list has gotten a bit out of hand lately because there has been so much good content out online these days!
Around 3, a friend came to pick us up and we went to run a few errands. We got my immigration photos done to send away to renew my PR card, got Mark a birthday cake (and a few groceries) at Costco, went to Sephora, then got McDonald’s (the birthday boy’s meal of choice!) and headed home for some gaming and relaxing to celebrate with Mark.
I was so glad to have a Sephora gift card – I’ve been pretty hooked on a lot of their stuff lately and finally picked up a few things I had my eye on for a while. I bought myself a couple of replacement heads for my Clarisonic (one for my face and also a buffer that’s supposed to be good on your feet!) and some facial cleanser, and then spoiled myself a bit with the Naked 2 palette. I’ve been eyeing it for quite some time now so Mark insisted I finally pick it up!
Once we got home and started gaming, I also did some cooking for the week ahead. I seasoned some chicken and baked it (pretty simple, really) to take for lunches or have with rice and vegetables for dinners, and also made a super-cheesy baked penne dish that smells (and tastes!) fantastic. I’m looking forward to eating that all week, that’s for sure!
We tried out a couple of our Christmas board games tonight: we played Mysterium and Epic Spell Wars 2. I really liked Mysterium, though it takes a bit to get into. I think we’ll have to watch a few playthrough videos before we dive into it again, and maybe play with more than three people.
Now it’s time to finish writing out my to-do list for tomorrow and try to get my ducks in a row so I don’t feel rushed in the morning. I might also have a nice peppermint tea before bed!
It was a long week, that’s for sure. It ended with a lovely panic attack at work today over some potential issues with our Disney trip next month, and I’m just ready to curl up and do nothing for a few days. That’s the general plan, anyway.
Tomorrow, Mark is going out to play cards for the day and a friend is coming by to have a quiet day with me – we’re going to watch some movies and just sit and do nothing – together. This is something we do every few months when life gets a bit too overwhelming, and it is always amazing. We just sit with each other and do our own things, but eventually once we feel like it, we talk about whatever we want, and sometimes we’ll stop to play some board games. It’s one of my favourite activities and I look forward to it every time it’s planned!
Sunday, we’re celebrating Mark’s birthday – heading out to pick up a cake early in the day (as well as get some photos done for immigration purposes) and then coming back to play some board games and relax all day with another one of our friends.
All in all, it sounds fantastic. Tonight’s plan? A bit of TV, a bit of gaming, a bit of reading, and a lot of snuggling.